How finding yourself can help you find someone else

It might sound like a strange concept, but the best way to find your perfect partner is to find yourself first.  After all, if you don’t know who you are, you’re making it harder for that perfect person to find you.  And by learning to understand who you are and what you want, you’ll gain a better perspective of what you are looking for in someone else. 

Who are you?

Getting to know yourself can help you to:

  • Understand what love is
    • By identifying how you think about love and relationships, you can begin to understand and overcome any limiting beliefs that may be influencing how you approach relationships or the type of person you are attracted to.
  • Overcome the issues that are keeping you stuck
    • Finding love isn’t about how attractive or intelligent or wealthy you are.  It is often things such as low self-esteem, attachment issues, control issues, or unrealistic expectations that can stop you finding the love you are looking for.  Exploring these issues can help you to change the way you relate to others and give you a new-found confidence when it comes to love and dating.
  • Differentiate between what you think you want and what you actually want
    • Do you want to settle down and get married because that’s what your parents think you should be doing?  Are you sleeping around because that is what your friends think you should be doing?  By exploring what it is that you’re actually looking for instead of what others are wanting for you, you’ll be able to start pinpointing exactly who it is you want to have a relationship with and what that relationship will look like.

Phew! Quite a list eh?!

I understand that it may seem overwhelming, or even too much work, to want to work through the list, but remember that you don’t have to work through it all at once.  And you may also find it helpful to work through all of these thoughts, feelings and beliefs with a counsellor or a trusted friend.

But by taking the time to find yourself, you are likely to see differences in every area of your life, not just love and dating, which will help you move forward in a positive, confident direction.

Until next time,


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